#my dentist literally commended me last month
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I have so much fucking dental work in 2 hours...
#dont want#my dentist literally commended me last month#for coming back consistently for my treatment plan#or as he put it#you just keep coming back for more torture!#š its cool we joke around#and specifically he is very aware of my traumatic dental care history#gonna miss him when i eventually leave this city ngl#just thoughts
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Fashion: Dental Care
I really like to compete on the dumb things, especially when thereās a good chance Iļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ll win. For instance, I love to know what peopleās eye prescription is. Most can compete with my left eyeās -4.25, but then I tell them my right eyeās -8.25, and I win every time. But because thatās not really a competition anyone wants to win and I donāt want to hear another scary Lasik story (do you know they keep you awake and others can sit and watch?), Iāve switched to dental history.
Sure, youāve had braces. Oh, maybe you had a cavity or two. But let me tell you my laundry list of whatās happened in my mouth starting in 2ndĀ grade.
I have a small jaw which was causing crowding in my permanent teeth. So in second grade, I started on my first dental device, a palette expander, which is cemented to four of your back teeth and has a plastic center that rests against the roof of your mouth. In the middle of the plastic is a slot for a key. Every night, the key is inserted into the slot and turned twice. Each turn expands the device in your mouth and, in turn, expands your jaw. I was seven, so my mom had to do the key turning. I wore this for several months.
Because it didnāt do enough the first time, I had to have the palette expander a second time. It was around this time that I was also prescribed glasses. Itās no wonder that with my height, I was recruited for basketball in fourth grade and not scouted to model.
In sixth grade, I was finally ready for braces, which I had for two years. Thankfully, I never wore full headgear, but I did go through a period of time where I had rubber bands that connected my top set of teeth to my lower set, thus limiting the motion of my jaw. Try opening your mouth after sleeping with those in. Itāll wake you right up from the pain.
At some point in middle school, I killed one of my front teeth. Literally. I was playing basketball, went in for a layup, and came down on some girlās head. That pushed the tooth up against its root and killed the nerve. It was only when I went to the dentist after moving to Minnesota and my tooth had started to gray that my new dentist told me it was dead: Iād need a root canal. He told me itād be painless because my tooth was dead. To prove his point, he then took hot ice, put it on a live tooth (I screamed) and then put it on my dead tooth (where I felt nothing). Point made.
During the root canal, that same dentist let me watch on the screen while he performed the procedure. Spoiler alert, much like not wanting to watch someoneās corneas get cut into during Lasik, you donāt want to see medical devices going through your tooth: itās not natural. I looked anyway.
Post-root canal, that same dentist put a porcelain composite veneer on my tooth to cover any of the gray that still showed through. Basically, itās a permanent shirt on my tooth. It turns out that the combination of my vanity and my constant need to please people means you can convince me of any dental procedure (in fairness, I pretty much needed them all). Someone recently pointed out that my tooth is thick, which, unlike a comment on a womanās hind quarters, I donāt believe was a compliment, but thick is better than gray.
Because I lost both of my retainers some time in college, my teeth started to crowd again. I got Invisalign, or braces for adults. Iām pretty sure I sold more than one woman on the product in the General Millsā bathroom, where I would go before and after eating any meal.
Speaking of which, the perks at General Mills were great. They had a dentist on site that was free, as in, didnāt-charge-insurance free. I would get four cleanings a year, twice with the on-site guy, and twice with my root canal guy. But then I left that company for Target. The root canal dentist, who was close to General Millsā offices, was now about 25 minutes away by car. On top of that, every time I went it, the appointment would be at least two hours long, with the x-rays, the veneers, the cleanings, the moldings for retainers, etc. I would literally spend half a day at the dentist. After a life spent in a dental chair, I vowed no more. Rather than find a new dentist, I stopped going altogether.
Recently, however, I felt something calling me back to the dentist. I struggled internally about going to my old dentist. There was the loyalty to the place but that was ultimately outweighed by the likelihood that Iād be sold on yet another procedure. And, okay, maybe the guilt that I hadnāt been there in a while. Ultimately, I decided to go someplace new, walking distance from work. I called to make an appointment. They followed up with my old dentist to get my records so when I showed up for my appointment, they had all my dental history.
It didnāt mean I didnāt have to get X-Rays. And not just the normal four; this was the 7-year x-ray that included 16 shots, where the very talkative hygienist rearranged bite guards throughout my mouth to get every angle of my teeth. When she finished, she commended me, āGood job! Youāre way better at that than most people.ā She glanced at the X-rays on the screen and added. āBut I guess thatās because youāve had a lot of dental work, so youāre used to it by now.ā
When my new dentist came in, she commented on my last cleaning was. āAccording to the charts, it was just over three years ago.ā I had taken the four cleanings a year and let that carry me for the next three.
āWell, thatās not too bad,ā she said continued. āThe worst Iāve had was 50.ā
So there is one competition Iām proud not to have won.
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